she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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