I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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