i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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