Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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