So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sext me about skeletons
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
