what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
