He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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