Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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