You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
