I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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