Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
