last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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