fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
