The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
