God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
