i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
