Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
