Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
