Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
4 words: hood of his car
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
