He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
