Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
