whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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