I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
