worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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