it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
