why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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