Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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