I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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