if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
