Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
