Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
