Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
