Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
