so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
