tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
