My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Someone signed my nipple.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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