this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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