question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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