I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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