No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I need a beard to bite.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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