Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
