i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
