this boner is exhausting
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
