By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
