How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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