btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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