I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
