Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
