dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
