if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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