Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
