Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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